Sunday, December 26, 2010

Santa Claus Conquers The Martians

Co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I bid farewell to the holiday season with a discussion of Nicholas Webster's Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964). Frequently labeled as one of the worst movies ever made, Jeff and I actually found its '60s kitsch to be quite charming. We discuss, among other things, a perpetually drug-addled Santa, the archetypal science-fiction robot, a supremely cheesy soundtrack and the fakest polar bear in history. From everyone at Cinemantics, happy holidays and hooray for Santa Claus!

Friday, December 10, 2010


The Month of Moore comes to a close as co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I discuss Zack Snyder's Watchmen (2009), an adaptation of the groundbreaking graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. Mired in development hell for years, this movie could have been a disaster - but it came out as good an adaptation as anyone could have hoped for. Jeff and I love it. Just a few of the many topics of discussed here: Broadway's effect on great actors, changes from the novel that work for the better, the impact of a well-placed song and the public's obsession with a certain blue phallus. Plus, a surprise cameo!

Friday, November 19, 2010

The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen

The Month of Moore continues as co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I discuss Stephen Norrington's The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003). Based on the graphic novel by Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill, Jeff and I agree that this action movie isn't entirely without merit, but on the whole doesn't do justice to its intriguing premise. Topics of conversation include Sean Connery's accent, pencil thin mustaches, uneven CGI, dumb marketing strategies and a hypothetical league of American gentlemen. It's an episode that's truly extraordinary - or, at least, more so than this movie.

Friday, November 5, 2010

V For Vendetta

Co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I invite you to remember, remember the fifth of November as we discuss James McTeigue and the Wachowski Brothers' V For Vendetta (2006), which kicks off a series of episodes based on the work of beloved comic book author Alan Moore. Our conversation at times borders on political as we explore the film's themes of government and terrorism, but mostly we stick to our usual shenanigans. We also explore the similarities between the film and George Orwell's classic novel Nineteen Eighty-Four. It's an episode that surely vindicates the vigilant and the virtuous. England prevails!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

To celebrate the one-year anniversary of Cinemantics, co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I bring you an extra-long discussion of our favorite film of 2010, Edgar Wright's Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World! During our wide-ranging conversation we defend Michael Cera against people who claim he only plays one character, applaud the film's depiction of gays, geek out over video game references and rebut a particularly scathing review. In short, it's an episode anyone in lesbians with this movie will want to hear!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Observe & Report

Co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I discuss Jody Hill's 2009 black comedy Observe & Report. Populated by a despicable cast of characters, it's a fearless movie that goes to some truly dark places - and we love it. Topics of conversation include the career of Seth Rogen, Anna Faris' willingness to make herself disgusting in the name of comedy and the mixed critical reception of the film. Two final points: You should not compare this movie with Paul Blart: Mall Cop, and Jeff is not a terrible person!

Monday, September 27, 2010


Co-host Greg Green and I discuss Ryuhei Kitamura's Versus (2000). We went into this Japanese action/horror/gangster/zombie movie expecting it to be awesome. Sadly, we came out disappointed. We examine the nonexistent story, poorly developed characters, extreme lack of continuity and a sorely underused villain while also praising some of the cinematography and fight choreography. We'd also like to reiterate that Yellowstone National Park is NOT in Canada.

Friday, September 3, 2010


In the first episode of Cinemantics to have more than one co-host, I am joined by Jeffery Heatherly, Stephanie C. Kernisan and Greg Green in a discussion of Ron Underwood's Tremors (1990). During our wide-ranging conversation Stephanie gives a spirited plot recap, Greg enlightens us on the definition of dark comedy and Jeff complains about oddly edited profanity. Plus, Stephanie sings fake Reba McEntire songs!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Batman & Robin

After a lengthy hiatus, Cinemantics returns with an ice-kicking discussion of Joel Schumacher's Batman & Robin (1997). Although a critical and commercial failure, co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I actually rather like the movie. Topics of discussion include the legacy of the film, what actor suits the role of Batman best, R. Kelly's terrible soundtrack contribution and the merits of Arnold Schwarzenneger's portrayal of Mr. Freeze. Don't leave the Batcave without it!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Independence Day

In what has become a holiday tradition, Cinemantics teams up with the Original Unoriginal Podcast to bring you a discussion of Roland Emmerich's Independence Day (1996). O.U.P. host Jeffery Heatherly and I discuss the incredible box office success of the film, defend its special effects, examine the casting, mock an alternate ending, praise composer David Arnold and espouse our love of the film in general. I also manage to shock Jeff with a surprise sign-off line. Happy Fourth of July, everyone!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Shaun Of The Dead

Co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I take it outside to discuss Edgar Wright's Shaun Of The Dead (2004), a romantic comedy with zombies. I love it; Jeff does not and explains why. We somehow manage to keep our usual tangents to a minimum and also try out a movie game I made up, which may or may not crash and burn. It's an episode you're sure to enjoy - although, if you've got red on you, you might want to take care of that first.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Team America: World Police

Co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I throw in our buck 'o five in a discussion of Trey Parker's Team America: World Police (2004). We also cover our mutual disdain for the musical Rent, the media's treatment of 9/11, the political beliefs of Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the beloved television series South Park and the film's portrayal of Alec Baldwin. It's an episode even Matt Damon would love!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters

It's a groovy time for a movie time as co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I discuss Matt Maiellaro and Dave Willis' Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters (2007). The film piles on too much weird for too long a running time, but that doesn't stop us from loving it. So get nude and feel the love for this modern cartoon classic - or we'll cut you with a linoleum knife.

Friday, May 14, 2010


Co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I discuss Matthew Vaughn's Kick-Ass (2010), perhaps the most realistic superhero movie ever made. We rebuke Roger Ebert's scathing review paragraph by paragraph, marvel at dead-on American accents by British actors, express our general dislike of Diablo Cody and rejoice at Nicolas Cage's career-reviving performance. It's all here in an episode that is truly kick-ass. Or is it ass-kick?

Friday, April 30, 2010

Waiting For Guffman

For the last episode of the Month of Guest, co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I take a look at Waiting For Guffman (1997), Christopher Guest's first mockumentary. Among other things, we discuss the formation of the Guest aesthetic, the sexiness of Matt Keeslar, Fred Willard's surprisingly subdued performance, the worst fake musical ever made and our desire to own Remains Of The Day lunchboxes. It's an episode they'll be taking about even on Nebali!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Best In Show

Co-host Jeffery Heatherly was such a fan of A Mighty Wind that he requested we watch another Christopher Guest mockumentary - and thus was born the Month of Guest. This week we discuss Best In Show (2000), a film about dogs and the (slightly insane) people who love them. As usual, the conversation touches on not just the film but a variety of only vaguely related cultural references. We would also again like to stress that Jeff does not hate dogs.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

A Mighty Wind

Co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I discuss Christopher Guest's 2003 mockumentary A Mighty Wind, a comedy with surprising emotional depth. I sing "Ave Maria" à la Michael Hitchcock and dispel any rumors about band camp that might have been started by American Pie. Jeff offers his opinion of folk music and laments how talented comedians are shortchanged in film and television. It's an episode you'll love to hear even if it's not autumn.

Saturday, March 27, 2010


Co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I discuss Tron, Steven Lisberger's 1982 epic of light bikes and deadly discs. In our wide-ranging conversation we talk about the lack of real logic in the plot, the techniques that went into creating this special effects milestone, consider the Tron franchise as a whole and beatbox our way into film music history.

Friday, March 19, 2010

The 2010 Oscarsode

In this collaborative episode, Original Unoriginal Podcast host Jeffery Heatherly and I take a break from reviewing movies to reflect on the 82nd Academy Awards, held March 7, 2010. We discuss virtually every Oscar-related topic under the sun: the hosts, who won (and who shouldn't have), technical difficulties and memorable moments. We also look, fairly in-depth, at several nominated films. Hooray for Hollywood!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Shutter Island

Co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I discuss Martin Scorsese's Shutter Island (2010). Our topics include performances, music, marketing, some terrible ADR and the film's connection to a cancelled Batman spinoff. We also manage to go nearly 35 minutes without spoiling the ending!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Day Of The Dead

We wrap up our month-long tribute to George A. Romero with the final film of the original Dead Trilogy, Day Of The Dead (1985). Dismissed by many as too talky and heavy-handed, co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I, through our discussion, come to the conclusion that this is unfair. We reflect on Tom Savini's unbelievable gore effects, the film's depiction of the military, a very '80s soundtrack and performances that include a truly hammy mad scientist and the most soulful zombie in history.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Dawn Of The Dead

Our month-long tribute to George A. Romero continues as co-host G. Warlock Vance and I discuss Dawn Of The Dead (1978), considered by many the best film of the original Dead Trilogy. The conversation takes some surprisingly intellectual turns as we discuss the inability of mankind to band together, a possible reason for our culture's current obsession with zombies and a realistic imagining of a zombie outbreak. Less philosophical topics include bad horror soundtracks, how Tom Savini created the impressive gore effects and the history of the zombie film.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Night Of The Living Dead

Today celebrated filmmaker George A. Romero, the "Grandfather of the Zombie," turns 70. To celebrate, Cinemantics is bringing you a full month of episodes devoted to his work. We start things off with the film that put Romero on the map, Night Of The Living Dead (1968). Co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I discuss its unrelenting bleakness, shocking (for the time period) violence and how it singlehandedly created the classic cultural perception of zombies. Even after all these years, they're still coming to get you, Barbra!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Bubba Ho-Tep

Co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I discuss Don Coscarelli's Bubba Ho-Tep (2002), in which Elvis Presley and J.F.K. team up to battle an ancient Egyptian mummy. It turns out Elvis isn't really dead, J.F.K. is black, and the mummy is terrorizing the east Texas rest home in which both reside. It's a wacky film with a surprising amount of soul. Hail to the King, baby!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Shoot 'Em Up

Co-host G. Warlock Vance and I discuss Michael Davis' Shoot 'Em Up (2007), a ridiculously overblown action movie with plenty of gunfire, improbable plot twists, snarky one-liners and a badass protagonist who uses carrots as weapons. Plus, Warlock does Arnold Schwarzenegger and James Cagney impressions!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Mad Max

Co-host Ryan Houser and I discuss George Miller's 1979 classic of motorbikes and leather men, Mad Max. Boasting a pre-stardom Mel Gibson, totally insane villains, subtle homoeroticism and all the car chases you could ever want, this movie gives us our heroes back.

Monday, January 4, 2010


Here at Cinemantics, 2010 is the Year of Godzilla. Appropriately, co-host Jeffery Heatherly and I kick off the new year with Ishirō Honda's Gojira (1954), the classic film that introduced this cultural icon. Unfortunately, it's probably the most boring entry in the series. But that doesn't mean we don't relish giving its characters snide nicknames and watching guys in rubber suits trample miniatures of Tokyo.